Mastering the Recipe for Personal and Community Transformation
In cooking up change, discover the essential ingredients and methods for building resilience in times of change. In this episode of Stories of Change on Yarra Valley FM, Kim presents a thorough breakdown of the six stages of change, so you can whip up confidence and clarity, following a precise recipe for change.
Cook Up Change Instead of Getting Takeaway
Episode Takeaways
- Change can lead to increased vitality, productivity, and fulfilment in life.
- The change process consists of six stages: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and integration.
- Each stage requires conscious awareness and deliberate effort to progress successfully.
- Change can be facilitated by understanding and implementing the processes that support transition between stages.
- Maintenance is crucial for integrating change into unconscious behaviour, leading to lasting transformation.
Episode: Cooking Up Change Transcript
Good morning, welcome to the show. This is Kim Harris here on Yarra Valley FM 99.1 and this program is called Stories of Change. It’s lovely to have you this morning.
I am going to be talking about three reasons to change this morning.
As you know Stories of Change is all about inspiring change and as we just heard in the news, you know we really need a holistic approach to change because a lot is riding on it.
What we need is a holistic approach to change, because a lot is riding on it.
Kim Harris
We do have increases in emotional distress out there in the community so by listening along I’m hoping to reveal some of the strategies, some of the information and definitely some of the stories to really inspire you to get out and get involved in a change process of your own.
So I’m looking forward to unpacking that but I’m going to play a song first up from Dido which is called “Thank You” and the reason I’m playing this song is because a lot of you came out and attended our opening celebration. All of our frequent listeners will know we are moving the radio station to Healesville and we’re in the process of setting up a whole lot of equipment, we’re just upgrading everything which is absolutely fantastic, because we want it to last for the next 20 years or so just like this this place here in Woori Yallock it’s served us so well for the last 20 years.
So I wanted to play a song to say thank you so much for coming out and being a part of the celebration thank you so much for your attendance your enthusiasm. I had a lot of fun doing a little exercise with you around togetherness and promoting togetherness which is also what my show is all about. We need to start coming together lots more and begin repairing some of those breakdowns in our in our little social circles. It’s a key part of the change process. Lots to unpack but I’m going to play this song to dedicate to you just to say thanks. Thanks for coming out, thanks for all of your involvement. There were so many people there that have been instrumental in this move that we are making so this one’s for you guys thank you.
We need to start coming together lots more and begin repairing some of those breakdowns in our little social circles. It’s a key part of the change process.
Kim Harris
There’s Really Only Three Types or Categories of Change Most People Seek
We’re going to be talking about three reasons to change and there’s really three pretty basic reasons to change isn’t there?
Really! Number one we want increases in our health and well-being so sometimes we need to make some changes that result in having increased vitality.
Sometimes we also have another reason to change which is we want to improve our productivity and perhaps increase our income I think we could all use a little bit of extra money. You’re learning about how to make some more money or sort of upskilling so that you can add some more income definitely is a great change to make.
And the third one, which I think is really significant in this day and age, is a change around our meaning and fulfilment in life and I believe personally that comes through the culmination of these three things when we’ve got increased vitality when we really love for our work and we’re getting paid what we’re worth and we’re getting enough income to live that sort of comfortable kind of life. I think and yeah and then the third thing is the relationship that really brings that level of meaning and fulfilment to that next level so those are three are pretty good reasons I think to go through a change process.
A change around our health and well-being.
A change around our work and increase in our income.
And a change around our meaning and fulfilment which I believe comes really out of our relationships.
We have relationships to all of those other things and our relationships to other people, so yeah I love to talk about relationships. I do a lot of coaching with people around their relationships, the state of their relationships the way that relationships are working for or against them.
It’s not necessarily what you think it’s not necessarily an intimate relationship or a partnership it’s not necessarily even relationships with your friends or your family or your work or anything like this it’s sometimes even these underneath kinds of relationships, like what is the relationship you have with yourself. What is the relationship you have with health and well-being? Are you taking good care of yourself, are you nurturing yourself and taking care of yourself in those really basic ways? Like eating well, sleeping well, exercising regularly, all these little fundamental relationships that we can have.
If we’ve got a weird relationship with exercise or a weird relationship with food, that can really impact significantly our health and well-being.
And then when it comes to money, what is your relationship with money? Do you have intimate knowledge of the money in your bank account? Some people prefer not to look at it and keep their head in the sand.
And that’s kind of what the change this change process is all about. Me talking about Stories of Change is all about learning the process for change and the first stage of change is actually called pre-contemplation. And that pretty much is that that part of the process where your head is in the sand where you’re not really aware that a change needs to take place necessarily.
It’s just kind of outside of your awareness so you might get a little bit of a hint every now and then like “Oh I really should maybe take you know take better care of my finances”, or better care of my health, or I should go and spend a bit of time with that person. I know they need me right now.
Whatever it is I think that’s where the change niggles in the back of your mind, that’s the first stage of change, it’s a very important stage and one that shouldn’t be rushed through, but I’m going to spend the rest of this episode today just talking about the change process in detail, because it’s a bit like a recipe.
If you have a recipe and you have the ingredients and you have the equipment and you read through the recipe, you see all the steps involved in putting together a meal. I was thinking this morning of a really yummy meal I saw on the internet the other day which would be beautiful at this time of morning, it was avocado and prosciutto and poached egg on sourdough, it looked absolutely delicious.
Anyway, if you’ve got the recipe for that kind of breakfast, let’s say you make it faithfully, you stick to the recipe, you buy those ingredients, you have the equipment, like a nice fry pan or whatever, and you follow those steps diligently, you have a delicious meal at the end of it.
The change process is very similar, it’s just like a recipe.
I’m going to be spending some time unpacking just what are those stages of change are to give you some clarity on where you might be within that framework or recipe.
We can have all types of changes happening all at once interestingly, so we don’t just have to look after our health and well-being, sometimes we do need to attend to our income and finances and our work, and sometimes we do need to take care of our relationships, so we can kind of be juggling these sorts of three things all at the same time.
We might be in a particular phase in the change process with regard to our relationships for instance, and we could be in a completely different phase for our income.
So, it’s a really good thing to know this framework.
So, I’m going to be talking about that after a couple more songs so I’m going to play Simply Red now, “If you don’t know me by now”. Enjoy this one.
I’m tired of people just talking about it. I actually want to do something about it, and that’s what this show is all about.
Kim Harris
TOTES! Let’s Get Cooking!
I’ve been talking about three really good reasons to change:
- Increased health and well-being
- Increases in your income, and
- Increased meaning and fulfilment in your relationships
I can’t think of better reasons to change personally.
I’m a bit tired of listening to what we hear on the news, people are having troubles with health and well-being, they’re having troubles with mental health, having troubles in their relationships, and we’re all feeling the impact of the isolation effects of the last couple of years.
I’m tired of people just talking about it. I actually want to do something about it, and that’s what this show is all about. It’s time to stop talking about it, and do something about it.
The way we do that is to increase our conscious awareness of the change process because if you are feeling a little bit down, if you’re feeling a little bit anxious, if you’re feeling a little bit under pressure because you’ve got more week than money, or if you’re just feeling fatigued and tired – these are significant changes to make and we need to make them holistically and we need to make them with support.
How we go about the change process is very important, the more that we know about it the better off we are.
So, let’s get into it. Let’s stop talking about it and let’s do it.
So, what are the six stages of change?
It’s almost like a recipe, like I was talking about earlier. If you follow this recipe you will set yourself up for a very powerful and significant shift in your identity which is the deepest level of change, and what we want to actually strive for.
It’s a bit like going from, if any of you out there are smokers, and you have quit successfully, and now you just don’t even feel like a cigarette. If someone offered you a cigarette, you’d say “No. I don’t smoke. I’m a non-smoker”.
When you say a statement like that, I am a non-smoker it’s very powerful.
It’s an indication that you’ve made a real shift in your identity because an “I am” statement is an identity statement.
You’re declaring something about yourself.
So, we want to get there.
That is the last phase of the six stages when we when we reach that point when we’ve got that significant identity shift that’s when we’re at the end of the process. But there are six stages all together.
I’ll quickly go over them like a bit of an overview and then go into them a little bit deeper so that you can understand each of the phases.
The first phase, as I touched on a few times is called pre-contemplation. The second phase is contemplation. The third phase is preparation. The fourth phase is action. The fifth stage is implementation. And then the last phase is called termination, or I prefer to use the word integration.
That’s when the change really settles in, and you just become that way from now on, and it’s not even a anything you have to think about anymore.
So let’s go into these a little bit deeper.
Basically what’s really good to know about in the world of human behaviour and this is what I’ve studied human behavioural science, this is based science and has been organised in a very scientific kind of formula or recipe.
We have what’s known as a TOTE, where TOTE is an acronym. It’s used in computing and in lots of different ways. It’s how we explain a strategy that someone goes uses to achieve a specific desirable end.
The “T” stands for trigger. We trigger a strategy that we’re going to run. It the thing that tells us it’s time to do something. A really simple way of thinking about it is like maybe you run your teeth your tongue over your teeth, and you realize “Oh, I need to brush my teeth” so you trigger a process of brushing your teeth.
Very similarly the change process is like that it’s just a process that we’re going on that we’re going to trigger under certain types of conditions, and then we operate the process, whatever the process is – in this example brushing your teeth – you’ll operate the process.
You’ll open the drawer/cabinet, get your toothbrush out, put the toothpaste on it, brush your teeth then we’ll test to see is are our teeth clean, and we’ll have different ways of doing that depending on the person, and then if we’re satisfied that our teeth are clean, we exit the strategy.
And that’s what T O T E stands for: trigger, operate, test, exit.
This is basically what we are doing all of the time.
And this is why change can be quite difficult to pin point sometimes.
Because it’s all happening, all at once like even today I was thinking about this this morning. On this show I was listening to my voice, because I edit my voice after each show, and recognizing how much improvement I need to make there. I could hear in my own voice that I have this breath that I take in, I sort of speak breathlessly, and it’s been pointed out to me before, but it never really stuck out to me like it is now. I’m listening to myself, I thought to myself “Okay, this is an example of a change I need to make”.
In the way that I’m presenting to you the way that I’m speaking to you I would really like to iron out that kind of breathlessness that I have. Anyway, it’s an example of something I would like to change at the same time I’m changing lots of things in my life.
So, we are going on and through this change process all of the time, quite organically.
I just happen to know more consciously what those steps are, so that’s why I’m bringing it to you, because I found it really helpful in my life.
So these are the six stages of change and I’m going to go into those a little bit deeper so that you understand them. You can see perhaps, where you are in the process. But before I do that I’m gonna play a song that I really like it’s called “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World. What I like about this song is it really is a song about don’t judge yourself too harshly, and don’t give up too soon, because we’re all in the middle of our story.
Don’t judge yourself too harshly or give up too soon, because we’re all in the middle of the story.
Kim Harris
Getting Into the Details of Each Phase of Change
I’ve been talking about the six stages of change this morning to give you a bit of clarity on where you might be with regard to some changes that you might be making in life.
The reason this is so helpful is because when you can see where you’re at it’s a lot easier to know what your next step is.
It’s a really good way of clarifying.
This is where I’m at.
And this is what I need to do in order to help myself through this change process.
The six stages again were pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, implementation, and termination/integration.
Pre-Contemplation
Let’s talk about each of those in a little bit more detail so you can understand them. The first one, pre-contemplation, is where the change that you might be considering is maybe just outside of your awareness.
Now a couple of ways you can start to become aware, is an example of listening to my show, and listening to some examples of the different changes that people do embark upon. You might hear me talking about health and well-being, for example, and you might go “Hmm… that does raise my awareness of a few things that I need to attend to with regard to my health.”
So I’m starting to promote awareness around types of changes that you can make and I’ve got some great interviews actually coming up on some really unique and interesting changes that people do make in their life.
An example is a lady that I would like to interview who actually became a carnivore, believe it or not, so in a world of where there’s a lot of veganism it’s a very interesting story. That’s an example of quite a drastic change that she went on.
So yeah sometimes they’re a bit quirky, sometimes they’re a bit out there, changes that we go on. But all of them are inspirational in some way shape or form. Because it’s all about just taking responsibility for something in our life that we really want to improve.
And this is a way of doing that very consciously and in a really self-supporting way so that you actually do achieve what it is that you set out to do.
So pre-contemplation is where the awareness is kind of “ill-formed” and what can happen at this phase too is sometimes, it’s somebody else that lets you know “Hey, look I’m just noticing you’ve put on a few pounds” or “I’ve just noticed that you haven’t been your normal chirpy self”.
So sometimes our awareness comes from other people in our life.
They are feeding back to us, something they’ve noticed or observed.
Sometimes that irritate us too. We can kind of be like “I’m fine”.
And it’s because that change has been out of our awareness.
And we’re just starting to become aware of it.
Pre-contemplation is a very important phase to go through.
So, pre-contemplation, in that phase you might be knowing that you’ve got to make a change but kind of avoiding it in some way shape or form or putting your head in the sand just trying to pretend like it doesn’t exist. You act like it might go away all by itself or fix itself all by itself. So that’s the kind of way we might be feeling about the change when we’re in this stage of the process.
Contemplation
The second one is contemplation.
Contemplation, is when we know, and are aware I need to make this change.
In this phase we are going to contemplate the change. What would that change actually bring about in my life? Is it something that I really do want to commit to? These are the types of questions we’re asking as we decide upon the change. We might be thinking and feeling curiosity when we’re in that phase. It’s sort of like you know that you need to make a change, but you need to kind of hash out the details with yourself of what is actually the commitment that you are willing to make. What will you fully commit to. So that is the second phase.
Preparation
The third phase is preparation.
This is when you’ve decided, yep I am gonna make this change. I’ve decided. I’m gonna make this change and I’m a hundred percent committed. Now I need to do some preparation to actually help me to integrate the change.
One of the kind “myths” out there, you know when people say “Oh, I want to get fit”, and then they jump in and go and get a gym membership and they go for two weeks and then they forget all about it. That’s an example of when a person hasn’t done the preparation phase properly, or either of these other phases either.
It’s when you haven’t done pre-and-contemplation properly, when you haven’t done preparation properly, you really can’t jump into taking action successfully. So we really want to make sure we nail these three phases first.
Preparation is where you you’re working out your routines and you’re working out – using the exercise example – if you’re a person that hasn’t been doing any exercise it’s really not self-serving to then expect to just go to the gym every single day, just white knuckle it, and go through it with will sheer willpower alone. It’s really not setting yourself up for the best experience.
So, preparation would be “Okay. I need to integrate an exercise habit” and a gym might not be the best fit for you. So in preparation we start to experiment and we start to figure out, I know I need to move my body a bit more, but how do I like to do that? Do I like to do that through interpretive dance? Or do I like to do it through gym? Or do I like to walk in the mountains? Depending on where you live in the valley, there’s some gorgeous places to walk!
We want to find your way!
And that’s what you do in the preparation phase it’s where you actually take your take yourself seriously, and your change seriously, and start to put things in place to actually work out how you are going to prepare yourself to start taking this action.
We need to start coming together lots more and begin repairing some of those breakdowns in our little social circles. It’s a key part of the change process.
Kim Harris
Action
So that’s the fourth phase, action.
The action phase is pretty self-explanatory. That’s where we’ve got the plan and now we’re following it. We’re on to it. A lot of people outside of us will be waiting for this phase! If we say “I’m gonna exercise” and then we’re not doing anything they might not think that you’re really serious because they’re not seeing you exercise, right? So, this is how some of these relationship dynamics actually don’t help us to integrate a change process because people are looking for the action.
Because other people can’t judge any of the other stuff the pre-contemplation the contemplation and the preparation.
Sometimes these phases are all quite internal and in your own mind.
So it’s a good idea regardless of the phase that you’re in, to talk to the people that you love about the process that you’re on, and where you’re at, and just sort of say look I’m just contemplating this change right now, or I’m just preparing for this change.
I’m really thinking about what it is I really want and who I am and what’s really going to be something I can commit to.
Before I jump into action.
When you’re taking action that’s when you can ask your friends and family and loved ones to come on board and help you with perhaps rewarding you along the way, with little celebrations when you reach little milestones. The milestones that you might reach or just a celebration when you achieve something that was really hard for you to do.
Yes. So that’s the action phase. That’s when we’re actually getting on with the plan itself.
Maintenance
Then we move into maintenance.
Maintenance is where we want to maintain the consistency in those efforts that we’re making in our action phase.
What can happen in maintenance is we can be taking action and we can sometimes stop taking action because we don’t realize that we haven’t reached the final phase yet. Perhaps you have become a little bit complacent.
You might change your habits, your exercise habit or any habit you’re working on. Sometimes we don’t fully realise we need to maintain the habit for a period of time to actually integrate it is successfully.
So we can fall out of action.
And that’s why we need to understand this phase and practice maintenance.
It’s not that it’s a problem if you miss one workout, for example, but if you don’t jump on that quickly and then one day leads to two days where you miss out, three days, and so on and so on, you can really end up falling off the wagon.
We were talking about the maintenance phase of the change recipe.
Maintenance is where you are consistently taking the action and doing what you need to do to stay in the action phrase.
When you do that for long enough it drops into your central nervous system, actually it also it drops into other systems in your biology like your actual cerebral infrastructure in your brain. If you consistently maintain this behaviour it sets up new tracks in your neurology in your neurochemistry in your neurobiology and then the way you think changes significantly. So, maintenance has this wonderful flow on effect to your central nervous system so that’s why maintenance is so important.
Maintenance is where we actually build the density in our brain system to maintain the change permanently.
Kim Harris
It’s where we actually build the density in our brain system to maintain the change permanently. The change we’ve been embarking upon and trying to integrate so that’s maintenance.
Integration
The final phase is of course integration.
The authors of the book, “Changing for Good” call it termination, but I think that sounds a bit terminator- ish. I prefer the word integration. Integration is actually where the change becomes complete.
It actually drops out of your conscious awareness and into your unconscious system. The good thing about this, and the good thing that this is a great feature of the human body, is that we have the capacity to change the things that we do predominantly into an unconscious program.
Then, the program can run in the background and the benefits to us when we do this when we actually achieve turning a habit into something that becomes unconscious. Where we are unconsciously competent in it.
It actually takes a lot less energy for our bodies to maintain it when we can do it automatically without thinking.
It becomes automatized or systematized.
Whichever word you would prefer to use. When we don’t have to think about it anymore free’s up a lot of energy. And that is one of the prime directives of the human brain, to conserve as much energy as it possibly can. Freeing it up for newer things, new systems that we need to learn and develop and grow, because we are, whether we like it or not, always in a state of change.
We’re always in a state of flux.
The person you were a minute ago is not the same person that you are right now and won’t be in the next minute.
It’s absolutely incredible we are constantly growing and thinking and evolving and adding to our neural load and adding to these systems.
So that’s the last and final phase integration. And as I said earlier it’s about forming an identity around the change so it’s a very powerful deep level of change when we change our identity or the way that we see ourselves.
Once we get to that stage and we say “I am a runner” or “I am a weightlifter” or “I am a dancer” or “I am a non-smoker”. When we start to identify as these things… or even on a financial level “I am wealthy” or “I am a millionaire” or “I am a billionaire” or “I’m a trillionaire” whatever the case may be. When we make those sorts of identity statements that’s when we really created a deep level of change.
When you say an identity statement like that, ‘I am a non-smoker,’ it indicates a fundamental belief about who you are. For this reason, an identity statement indicates you’ve made a shift about who you are, which indicates the deepest level of change.
Kim Harris
In Summary
So that’s it that’s a wrap for me. That is the six stages of change.
A quick overview of all the stages.
The types of ways that we think and the types of ways we act and what actually occurs for us when we are in each of those phases.
I hope you’ve enjoyed listening to that framework and I hope you enjoy reflecting on your life and changes that you want to make in it.
Think about them like, you might be like me in pre-contemplation around exercise, but you might be full-on in action phase when it comes to another area of your life, like perhaps a relationship. You might be actively dating or going on date nights or getting married or all sorts of wonderful things.
We can be in different phases of the change process depending on what types of changes we’ve got on the boil.
We usually have a few going on at once, which we’re very capable of doing, which is wonderful.
Coming up soon and in the next couple of episodes we’re going to be talking about the processes that facilitate you from moving from one stage to the next so to go from pre-contemplation into contemplation there are some steps involved that make it a lot easier for you to transition from one stage to the next.
I’m going to be talking about those nine processes of change that can really support you in leveling up your life and going through a successful change integration.
And that’s it for me for today.
As I’ve said before, you can follow up on any shows that you might have missed out on any previous episodes on the website kimmharris.com and you’ll find all the previous podcasts of all the episodes of the show.
Go back there and re-listen to things if I’ve spoken too quickly or you just want to take it in a few more times because it bears repeating.
It’s a great thing to learn this framework for change.
Also feel free to connect with me on social media. I’m happy to answer any questions that you’ve got and would love to hear from you. Also happy to take song dedications or requests.
Bye for now.
In Conclusion
The journey of change is a transformative process that holds the promise of a better life. Through the six stages of change – from pre-contemplation to integration – we have the opportunity to grow, evolve, and become the best version of ourselves. It’s not enough to merely talk about change; we must take action, embrace the process, and commit to continuous improvement.
As you embark on your own journey of change, remember that each step forward, no matter how small, brings you closer to your goals. Take inspiration from the stories shared on “Stories of Change” and leverage the processes that facilitate progress. Let’s move beyond contemplation and into action, knowing that with perseverance and determination, lasting transformation is within reach.
Thank you for joining me on this episode of “Stories of Change.” If you missed any part of today’s show or want to revisit previous episodes, you can find them on my website kimmharris.com. Feel free to connect with me on social media, and don’t hesitate to share your own stories of change. Together, let’s embrace the power of transformation and create a brighter future.
Until next time, keep striving for positive change, and remember, the journey is as important as the destination.
